The Spiritual Life

I had one of those uh huh moments the other morning while thinking about how to explain some of my choices to non-believers.  Where this revelation led me was to walking in the Spirit.

Now this topic is unfortunately twisted by some theologians to mean speaking in tongues.  I couldn't disagree more.  My attitude is that of the Apostle Paul, "I would rather you spoke 5 words with your mind than 10,000 words in tongues (a strange language incomprehensible language).  The gift of tongues offers a number of benefits; edification of our own spirit, priming the pump to get the Spirit moving, speaking to others of a language you don't understand and a sign to believers and nonbelievers.

But on fortunately some think it is the main gift, that it is the gift that everyone should seek (even though Paul tells us otherwise).  We are told at the end of chapter 12 of 1 Corinthians (in the form of rhetorical questions which expect a negative reply) that not everyone speaks in tongues, not everyone prophesies and so on.  If we look closer at theses passages (from the beginning of Chapter 12 to the end of Chapter 14 of 1 Cor.) you will see that the main purpose of the gifts is for the building up of the body/one another.  Speaking in tongues does little toward that end, in my mind.

So getting back to where I was headed with this, I see spiritual gifts as a necessary part of the body life so that we can be built up (become mature in Christ).  I don't see the gifts as mystical per se.  I seem them as very practical tools to help us help one another.  But in order for us to help each other with the gifts, they must be employed.  Our regular Sunday services are just not structured to make room for the proper exercising of the full range of Spiritual gifts.

I firmly believe that the spiritual gifts are not to be relegated to some obscure corner of the Christian life, rather I see them being meant to be employed in our everyday life.  Imagine if you are dealing with a child who is lying to you about where they have been and by a Word of Knowledge you were informed of exactly what they were doing and who they were with.  Doesn't that sound pretty practical.

I see the gifts helping us live out the fullness of what it means to be a Born Again Christian.  The gifts equip us to speak with supernatural knowledge and understanding to anyone around us.  Employing them as God intended would mean that we become the kinds of emissaries that God intended when the Apostle Paul told us we were Christ's Ambassadors and Ministers of Reconciliation.  Our lives would reflect the fullness of Christ in his love, power, mercy and righteousness.

But unfortunately we often try to do this out of our own intellect.  And our wisdom is foolishness in God's eyes.  Yes spending time in the Bible is a good thing.  Yes sitting under good teachers is helpful.  But ultimately we must become people who walk by the Spirit and not just by our human knowledge, wisdom and understanding.

You cannot love your enemies, speak well of those who curse you or reach out to the outcasts of our society in the power of our flesh and intellect.  This Christian life we are living is intended to be supernatural.  First Christ laid it out for us in the Sermon on The Mount, then He demonstrated it in how He ministered and finally He sent us his Holy Spirit to empower us to live the life that He had intended for us.

Later the Apostles gave further instruction in how and why we should lives this way.  My job as a pastor is to continue that tradition by pointing people to Christ, Living a life worthy of emulation and encouraging, rebuking and teaching these new children of God how to live as mature disciples of Christ.

I cannot do this only on Sundays, I need to find ways to encourage, teach and rebuke on the other 6 days of the week.  My job is not just to prepare sermons or to manage programs.  My job it to be training future leaders how to live by the Spirit, how to walk in the gifts and eventually how they too can be people who make disciples.

Have I got it all figured out?  No.  If you want someone who has a much better handle on it then go talk to Francis Chen.  I really think that I could learn a few more things from him.  But the reason I am writing this article is not to point you to Francis Chen, but rather to encourage each and everyone of you reading this to hunger after the things of God.  To become people who chase after everything that God has for you.  I don't want to be satisfied with just hanging out with some fellow believers on Sundays and go home and just sit and wait until our next encounter.

This is why I attend two small groups during the week.  One is to for an opportunity to operate in the gifts to encourage others.  The other group is where I teach from the Word of God, encouraging those attending to walk in the ways of God.  This is also why I write articles like this to try and encourage others to live the kind of life that Christ died for.  He didn't die the death of a sinner just to pay for our sins, but He died such a death to open the way for us to live in such a way that people would stop and ask us, "How come you have such love, joy, peace and hope in your life?" So that they would be envious of us in such a way as that they too would want to learn how to live such a life.

I am convinced that if we don't walk in the Spirit and by the Spirit then we are barely more than animals.  It is in the Spirit where we come into God's true intent for us as humans made in His Image who can live in this world and transform it.  Yes there is evil a foot, but the more of us that are walking in the fullness of God's power, in His Spirit, then the more evil is pushed back.

God hasn't called us to a fortress mentality where we hunker down waiting for His return.  He has equipped and empowered us so that no even the gates of hell will stand in our way.  The enemy would try to convince you that you are powerless.  He would say, "Your not Christ, you can't live that way!"  But the Truth is that Christ was given us everything that we need so that we are more than conquerors.  As I have heard it put once, we are to become people who when we wake up the devil says, "Oh sh_t they're up again!"

I want to be someone who shows all my neighbors that I am one who walks with Christ, one who loves authentically, lives out the principles of The Golden Rule.  I want my neighbors to be glad that I am here.  I don't want to be a religious nut but rather someone who walks by the Spirit in such a way that they might say about me, "There goes the man who walks with God".

Am I there yet? Not at all! Even still I won't give up on Christ working in me. I fully trust that He will complete the work that He has begun in me, as I trust that He will complete the work He was begun in you.  To that end I will continue to pursue the purposes and gifts that God has invested in me.  He didn't save us to sit on the bench for the rest of the game.  His desire is that His gifts would be employed as each of us does our part in the greater tapestry of God's Will in The Kingdom of God.

He didn't leave us to figure it out by ourselves and He doesn't want us just sitting around waiting for something to happen.  He has equipped each and every one of us to play a part, to be a friend and good neighbor, to be a vital part of the Body of Christ.  Not everyone is called to be a Leader in the church, but everyone has been given a part to play in His Kingdom.

If you think that God couldn't use us, that somehow you are disqualified, you are wrong.  God has a part for each and everyone of us to play in His plans for humanity  Christ died to qualify those who were once called enemies of God.  He has made a way for us all to play a part.

So I encourage you this week to think on these things, to examine your life and pray that God would reveal to you some small glimpse of what He saved you for.  Your part may not be a great spectacle, but it will make a difference.  When you visit those who are homebound, when provide a listening ear to a hurting co worker or neighbor, you are making room for God to use you and to touch the lives of the lonely and hurting.

If you find yourself saying, "Oh, I could never do that"  Chances are that that may be the very thing God has for you, but the enemy is trying to discourage you from stepping out in the Spirit and letting God use you.  The enemy hates it when we trust God and try things that we would have never tried.  The enemy uses lies and fear and shame to try to disqualify us while Christ has redeemed us to serve God's purposes.

Fear not, be strong and courageous for Christ has overcome the world and His intent for you is to live an abundant life.  A life filled with a cornucopia of God's grace and mercy.  You don't have to grunt it up in your own strength and will, but as you trust in He who saved you, you will do more than you could have ever thought or imagined.

When we look at the Spiritual big hitters, like Mother Teresa, Albert Schweitzer, Smith Wigglesworth, Sister Aimee Semple McPherson and others.  It wasn't that they were so great, it was that they trusted God at his Word and walked by the Spirit to demonstrate the reality of God's power, love and mercy.

I am encouraged in the story of an older woman, who after examining herself she realized that she had the gift of hospitality decide to invite her neighbors over, one at a time, for a cup of tea and fellowship.  In the decades that she did this she led dozens of people to Christ.

Ask God to reveal to you, who you are in Him.  Trust Him to put the gifts He has already provided to show when you take a step of obedience and expect Him to show up.  Get in the game.  We are not called to be spectators in the Great game of Life.  We are meant to be participants, benefiting those around us as we let 'The Great I Am' reveal Himself in our lives.

May God's gifts and his Spirit move mightily in your lives as you seek his Face and His love, living as children of God redeemed to be salt and light in the earth.

In His Glorious Name,
Preacher Al

The attitude of Walking in The Way - The Continuum Revisited

I actually preached on this subject quite some time ago but it has stuck with me all this time. I really think that this is the first topic or lesson that brought me to thinking about how we could know if we were Walking in The Way. I am not really sure that "attitude" is the right name for this aspect of the walk that I plan to examine here. Maybe it is more about self-perception in relationship to God and others.

Key themes:

• The pathway markers of humility and confidence
• The extremes of hopelessness/defeatedness vs. Arrogance
• What the source of our personal esteem is


The two key factors or lane markers I see which help us to Walk in The Way are humility and confidence. I see humility marked by the scripture that says, "We can do nothing apart from Christ" and I see confidence marked by the scripture that says "I can do all things through Him (Christ) who strengthen's me." But it is not one or the other rather it is a blend of both. I realize in my humility before God and men that it is only through His working in me that I am able to do anything, which then leads do a sense of confidence that realizes that with Him there is no limit to what we can accomplish. Maybe we might call this right esteem.

There has been a lot of talk in past years about children who have low self-esteem. This topic has worked itself into the church as well. I really think that it is a bit heretical. In the OT when men were building the tower in Babylon, God said that we can accomplish anything, so He then confused the speech of humanity to keep us from thinking too highly of ourselves. There is an inherent problem in thinking that we are good in and of ourselves; this is the basis of Humanism. Pretty soon we begin to think that we can accomplish anything and that we don't need to listen to someone else. I have read a few articles where people are recognizing that some children/people's esteem in themselves is so high that they think themselves better than others or more deserving than others. This leads to problems like sociopaths who view other people as mere objects to be used for their benefit.

Now I admit that there are also people out there whose esteem of self is so low that they they can only see themselves as failures. They see their future as nothing more than a long series of potential blunders. I do not think this as humility but something else entirely.

When we are walking in the Way of God our self-perception is almost a contradiction or paradox. In part we see that we are powerless apart from God, but then we see that in Him or by Him, we can do anything He sets before us to do. I believe that our true esteem is found in that we are created beings, who are redeemed to live a life worthy of God according to his work in us. Our esteem is not found in our perception of ourselves (good or bad) and our esteem is not to be found in the eyes of others (whether that be positive or negative). Our true esteem should only be found in the eyes of our Redeemer/Creator as tempered by his Grace and Mercy.

Our Redeemer knows everything there is to know about us. He knows our thoughts, our intentions and our motivations, and yet He still chooses to love us. Some people think that they must earn their ways in to his heart, others think that it doesn't matter what we do; both are wrong. We are reminded by scripture that we cannot earn our salvation through works, but rather it is a free gift from God. Yet on the other hand we know that there are behaviors that are hated by God (God hates sin if not sinners). Even if our salvation is a free gift, once we have it we are called to walk it out or work it out with fear and trembling.

So when I consider people who are walking in hopelessness or defeat (I also refer to this as brokenness), I get images of them saying how bad they are and how irredeemable they are. It's as if they are saying that their actions or their perception of self are beyond God's ability to forgive or redeem. I am convinced that this is a form of idolatry. I believe it is rooted in a lie from the evil one. These people have come to believe a lie that says their sin is too great or their hurt is too terrible for God to forgive or heal. This is typical of most lies from the devil. He twists or perverts God's word to serve his desires. Nothing pleases him more than being able to convince us that we are beyond the reach of God's love and mercy. But when we believe that our sin is so great that God cannot forgive us, we make our sin greater than God and that is idolatry.

The flip side of this also a form of idolatry, but here the person has become convinced that they in and of themselves are sufficient to every problem they face. They are convinced that they do not need God or anyone else. I think this is similar to the lie that the serpent used in the Garden of Eden. He convinced Adam and Eve that they could be like God if they just followed his advice. Arrogant people are just as deceived as those thinking they can do nothing good at all.

Now in our culture we tend to see defeated people as being victims and we tend to see some arrogant people as successful and confident people. I think it is really important that if we are to walk in the Way of God, then we must forsake these cultural ideals and instead embraced the ideals/values of The Kingdom of God. We are sinners redeemed from our former ways by the grace of God in the Person of Jesus Christ and his sacrifice upon the cross. We have been sealed with the Holy Spirit and now belong to God. As God's children, our thoughts, intentions and actions should be shaped by this redeemed relationship.

Final thoughts

I would like to remind you that my writings on walking in the way, are not a "how to be more godly" plan. But rather indicators that we should use to examine ourselves. Neither of  these articles are meant to condemn anyone. If you find that you are off the path, it is just a reminder of where you need to be. When we find that our ways do not align with the Path/Way of God, then we must confess our wrong attitudes, repent of, change our ways and return to God, seeking his help and his wisdom so that we might live as children of God. It is an ongoing process, that refines us much as gold and silver are refined by fire.

I pray then that you will learn to experience the freedom and joy of walking in God's ways.  Jesus himself has gone before us to show us how to live for God.  Jesus sent his Holy Spirit to remind us and help us that we might live as the children of God.  I pray that you will learn to fully cooperate with the work that God has begun in you, that you may see it completed and experience the fullness of  a life in and with Christ Jesus our Lord and Savior.

An Introduction to my intended book on "Walking in the Way of God"

I have been thinking about “The Way” for a very long time.  “The Way” was another name for the Church of Jesus Christ in the first Century.  Some cults have sprung up in modern times trying to usurp the authority that comes with that name.  But for me, it has become about an attitude that comes with being a follower of Jesus Christ.  

On one side we are told that it is our actions that define us.  Some people, however, are able to do all the right things but without a right heart or attitude.  Sometimes this is done to deceive people sometimes it’s just that some people only know that they have been told to do something a certain way, without any reason for it and they do it without understanding.  When asked why they are doing what they are doing, they say "I was told to do it that way."  They might even say because the Bible says so.

But I think that our attitude needs to line up with our actions.  As a Christian, our hearts have to be submitted to God otherwise, we can end up like those people who Jesus will reject, saying “I never knew you!” because they were doing what seemed right but they were not walking in relationship with Jesus and they did not have a regenerate heart therefore, they cannot understand or obey the Will of God.

Sometimes we use the term, "heart attitude".  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  It is all about our heart and the attitude that resides there.  When our attitude is wrong then we can do all the right things, but we are still in the wrong.  More likely the outcome when we have a wrong attitude is we are unable to do the right things.  But praise God, we have the Holy Spirit and the Word of God to help us to have the right attitude and to know what is the right thing to do is.  

I believe that God has granted me some insight into what our attitude should be like when we are living according to God's will.  There is no guessing but do not think that this is something that you can do in and of yourself.  We need God's wisdom and power to walk out the life He has intended for us.  When we do realize that we are not  walking in "The Way", we can always go back to God and ask for help.  We can ask for wisdom and we can ask to be corrected by the Holy Spirit.  

Note: The Holy Spirit is not going to contradict the Word of God.

If you could imagine a road stretching off into the distance, we might ask what defines the boundaries of the road before us.  The right curb or road marker I believe is marked by the attitude of Humility as defined by the Scripture that says that we can do nothing apart from God. Actually, it was Jesus saying that we can do nothing apart from Him. The left curb or boundary is marked by the attitude of confidence, as defined by the Scripture, "I can do all things through Him/Christ, who strengthens me."

These two attitudes are not mutually exclusive, rather they serve to encompass the path before us.  Both confidence in God and humility are dependent upon our relationship with God the Father, through Jesus Christ and in the power of the Holy Spirit.  

What I hope to accomplish in the following chapters is to use these road-markers/attitudes to define what it means to be a disciple of Christ.  There will be a lot of comparing and contrasting used to illuminate for us the differences between being a natural person and being someone redeemed by God.  Come join me on this journey as we learn to walk in the "Way of God" in such a way as to fully experience the peace that Jesus promised us.

Dealing with Transgressions Part II - When our actions and choices hurt others

As I consider the "Way of God" (walking in confidence and humility) I can see where it applies to so many situations.   My hope for the following blogs is to touch on many of these topics -- to look at them from all three perspectives; from the brokenness, the arrogant and from Godly ways.  I remind you that I see both the arrogant and the brokenness perspectives as forms of idolatry.  The person walking in brokenness sees his or her problems as being too big for God to handle or maybe they think that they are so bad that God would never want to help them.  The arrogant person appears to think that they don't need God and that they themselves are the answer to every problem that comes their way.  Both of these kinds people are difficult to be around, but both need God's love.

But my intent here is not to point out these people's flaws so that we can condemn them nor is it specifically my intent to bring understanding of them.  I am more concerned with encouraging all of us to "examine our ways" to see if our attitudes and actions really line up with what I believe to be God's best for us.  What are we walking in?  Is it humility and confidence or is it fear, doubt, worry unbelief and self-deception?

I would like to point out that we all may move in one of these three paths from time to time, depending upon the circumstances, our abilities and/or our mood.  My intent is not to label people walking these paths.  My hope is that through this article that you will recognize which path you are walking in and will work to cooperate with God's ways.  Now on to this post's topic which is"How do we react or walk when we realize that we have caused someone else pain, or difficulty?"

Jesus promised us that we would have difficulties in this world, but his Holy Spirit and his teachings encourage us to be those who overcome life's trials; not that we will always succeed.  One of the harder types of difficulties we have to deal with are transgressions; where either someone does something that hurts us, or where we do something that hurts someone else.  Often times we want to take issue with the intent saying, "Oh they meant to do that!" or "That wasn't really MY intent!"  Here I will examine the notion of our being the transgressors.

Brokenness

When a person is walking in brokenness, they don't know how to or are unable to confront or to make amends.  I believe that while people are walking in brokenness, they/we have difficulty seeing how to deal with others' needs.  They/we are barely maintaining their/our own lives.  In fact their/our lives may be completely out of control.  When dealing with others they/we don't mean to cause offense but they/we just can't seem to see past their/our own wants and desires (which is often wrongly categorized as "needs").  These wants and desires are mostly "felt needs."  They/we think they/we need this or that to live or to be happy.  Consequently we/they do things that may offend or harm others while trying to attain those felt needs.

When we are walking in brokenness  we feel bad when we are caught.  We are not truly sorry for our actions.  We might feel sorry that we got caught or we are sorry that our actions have resulted in a break in relationship.  Broken people won't often seek to apologize, rather they hope that no one will notice. They hope that the topic won't be brought up, it will be forgotten or that others won't know that they were responsible.  When confronted, a broken person may feign ignorance of the situation or act appalled.  When confronted they/we may act sheepish, embarrassed or may break into tears.  Broken people may also apologize profusely and pledge to make it right.  The reality is that when we are walking in this path, we are really not thinking about true restoration, but rather merely hoping that the problem will go away by itself.

Arrogance

When we are walking in arrogance the creed seems to be "It wasn't my fault" or "You deserved it!"  Like the person walking in brokenness, arrogance see oneself as the most important person.  The way it presents is quite different though.  While the person walking in brokenness seems to feel some sort of guilt for what they did, the person walking in arrogance refuses to take responsibility.  Sometimes they will try to shift the blame back on to the offended person.  

I really think there are two paths leading into arrogance.  The first is fear; fear of being found out.  When we walk in this kind of arrogance we know we are wrong, but fear to face the consequence of being found out.  So we deny that we have done anything wrong, and refuse to make amends  because that would be an admission of wrongdoing.

The second path into arrogance is self-deceit.  We find ourselves here when we become so convinced of our rightness that there can be no admission of wrong.  "I know I am right so therefore I can do no wrong."  I find myself walking in this when I become convinced that I am the expert on a particular topic.  

Regardless of how a person comes to find themselves walking in the way of arrogance, the results are the same.  They can admit no wrong doing.  They refuse to accept that something is their fault.  They  see no need to try to reconcile.  Our thinking when we are walking here is often "They (the offended party) just need to get over it and move on."

The Way Less Traveled - The Way of God

One of the significant motivations of someone walking in the ways of Jesus is to maintain relationship (loving others).  This is consistent with the greatest commandment.  When we transgress against someone else, even if it was unintentional, chances are we have done something to break fellowship.  If we do nothing to right any wrong, caused by selfishness or simple oversight, then we are failing to love our neighbor.  Christ calls for us to love even our enemies, so then love demands some sort of action.

In the "Sermon on the Mount" in Matt. 5:23-25 Jesus tells us that if we are approaching God with our gift/worship and in that moment we remember/realize that someone else has something against us then Jesus tells us to leave our gift at the altar and to go and be reconciled with our brother or sister.  This is huge.  Jesus is telling us that we cannot have a relationship with God when we have broken relationship with others. The Apostle John tells us in his first epistle that if we hate another member of the faith, then we don't love God, or that the Love of God doesn't dwell in us.

Before I continue, I remind you that we cannot walk in the ways of God, without God's help.  Jesus sent us the the Holy Spirit to dwell in us, to both remind us of Christ's teaching and to give us to power to walk in his ways.  This is not some human philosophy that we practice out of sheer force of will.  It is a cooperative work between God and us.  He lays out the ways we are to live, then He grants us the power to keep his commandments.  God's desire for us to be reconciled with one another stems out of God's purposes at work in us.  He created us to live in community, He gave us rules for living with one another and through Christ's death and resurrection He is made us capable of living together.  We are new creations made in or remade in His Image. We are empowered to enter the process of redemption and renewal so that we will be the people whose lives are a manifestation of The Love of God.   

So then, as God's redeemed people we must do everything in our power and with God's strength to repair godly relationships.  Christ died to pay the price of everyone's sin.  He lived a life of example for us to follow and sent the Holy Spirit to testify to the truth of God's ways.  Now I am not saying that we need to live in the fear of hurting someone else's feelings, but I am saying that we must take others into consideration when we chose to act or speak.  Our actions or lack of them, affect others.  Our words have the power to heal or to hurt.

As I understand Scripture, the only way we can accomplish this is to dwell in and live out humility.  Humility says that I am not the most important person.  Humility says that all people have value in God's eyes and so I must treat them as such.  Humility is the way of love.  It doesn't demand it's one way but instead seeks the betterment of others.  I don't mean that we become solicitous and bow and grovel around other people or lie to them trying to win their approval.  Rather I am saying that we all need to recognize that every human being, regardless or race, gender or national origin is made in the image of God.  When we dishonor other people, snub them or take advantage of them, we dishonor not only them, but we dishonor God in our lives.

Now looking at others as beings created in the image of God, doesn't mean we have to do whatever they ask of us.  If anyone asks us to do something immoral or illegal then we are not under obligation to comply.  For example - if an alcoholic asked you for booze or for money to buy booze your are under no obligation to do that but as a God honoring person you can and should look for ways to help such a person.  You could buy them a meal, you could talk to them about Christ, or you could help them get in touch with an organization that could help them like AA or Teen Challenge.  Helping others is not giving them what they want; it's giving them what they need.

Getting back to the topic at hand.  When we have done something to injure, insult, malign or otherwise hurt someone, whether intentionally or unintentionally, Jesus puts the requirement on us to make amends as soon as we realize that we were the source of someone else's pain.  The objective in Christ's sight is always, what can you do to restore relationship.  Too often we get stuck on who was right and who was wrong.  Christ's sacrifice on the cross makes that irrelevant. He has paid for our sins and he has paid for the sins others have committed against us.  We are then obligated to try to restore godly relationships whatever it may cost us.

Abusive Relationships

I will offer one caveat.  We are not obligated to restore abusive relationships.  We are required to forgive our abusers, but we don't have to submit ourselves to emotional and physical abuse in our efforts to restore relationships.  So if you were the abuser then do not demand that others be restored to you.  You must first be "cured" or "healed" of your abusive nature before seeking to be restored to those you abused.

Seeking Help

Finally I would also suggest that you do not try to restore difficult relationships on your own.  Find a pastor, counselor or elder who demonstrates wisdom and peace to help you.  Christ gave us each other and the gifts of the Spirit so that we could help one another and build up the people in the body of Christ.  And keep in mind that the goal (wherever possible) is the restoration of godly relationship.

Dealing with Transgressions Part I - When people hurt us

Life can be pretty hard.  Its not bad enough that we grow old and lose control of our bodies.  To add insult to injury there seems to be people all around us who manage to make life difficult and seem to almost go out of their way to hurt us.  What is even sadder is that many of these people are in the body of Christ.

Jesus warned us that this life would have difficulties.  He himself suffered insults and injury from the people He came to save.  For that matter before we came to Christ, we were counted as enemies of God.  So how does God want us to face these difficult people and situations?  How should we respond to those whose actions hurt or disappoint us?

In this series titled "Walking in the Way" I will continue to compare the three paths: Walking in defeatedness, walking in arrogance and walking in the way of God.  Each has its own response to being hurt or disappointed by others.  If you are a Christian then your response should be consistent with with Christ's teaching.  But sometimes we don't always walk in that; instead we walk in our flesh and do what seems right to us.  We either use the model we saw are parents use or we swear an oath of sorts in how we will deal with people who hurt us in the future; swearing that we will never let that happen again.  I would like to challenge you to read my perspective on the two paths that are not God's way and see if you may not be walking in them.  I know that I have found myself walking in them from time to time.  I will conclude with the path less traveled - The Way of God - and give some suggestions in how we might better glorify God in our lives as we deal with difficult people and situations.

Note: You may notice below that I switch back and forth between 3rd, 2nd and 1st person.  I have done this purposely to show that its not just others nor is it just us; the shoe may fit on either foot.

Brokenness

When a person is walking in brokenness, they don't know how to confront or to make amends.  When they are hurt, chances are they will just withdraw.  When we are walking in brokenness our expectations are not very high.  Oh we would like to be loved and treated well, but the soul suffering from brokenness kind of says, "Go a head, everyone else does."  

Those walking in brokenness really won't ordinarily confront others.  When we walk in brokenness our expectation is that the wrongs of the world are just too great (for us or God) and there is nothing that we can really do about it.  Even if someone apologizes for their actions the person walking in brokenness may say "It's okay".  We say this not because its really okay, but rather because we are more afraid of offending the party that hurt us than receiving justice.  When we are walking in brokenness we somehow expect to be abused or over looked.  

When we walk in this place of brokenness, we would like God or someone to vindicate us, to make things right, but we lack the faith or resolved to do anything about it.  To test if you are walking in brokenness  ask yourself this question.  "When is the last time that I confronted someone who hurt me?"  If you cannot think of a recent occurrence then you might be walking in brokenness.

Arrogance

Whether one walks in arrogance because they are trying to hide their ineptitude/brokenness or if it is because we think we are better than others, the result is usually the same - blame and/or retaliation.  I know, looking into my past, that I have often cut off those who hurt or disappointed me.  People walking in arrogance think forgiveness is weakness.  I have heard people utter the words, "I will never forgive them!"  Arrogance doesn't make allowances for reconciliation or it demands so much that reconciliation isn't possible.  

For the person walking in arrogance so as to hide their faults, they are afraid to confront someone.  They are afraid of refusal or having to further compromise their life.  For the arrogant person who thinks they are better than others, they cannot imagine that they could be wrong so when they are offended, it will require some form of retribution to punish the offending party to ensure they will not let you down or offend you again.  Arrogance isn't interested in reconciliation is focused on self-love and self-protection.

Two of the ways I see arrogant people getting retaliation is to demand apologies - especially the kind that shame the offender - or to demand some sort of recompense like; "You must bring me gifts every day to prove your love for me and to make up for what you have done." Not that recompensing those wronged it a bad thing, but the demanding of it demonstrates a form of self-love that puts the arrogant person above others.  So whether you try to shame those who offend you or demand some sort of recompense for the offense, you are putting self first which will never lead to true reconciliation. 

Another thing that can trip us up when we are walking in arrogance is thinking that people purposely did something to hurt us.  Because arrogance thinks itself the most important person; the center of their universe, then everything revolves around the us/them.  So if someone hurts or offends us, it must have been done knowingly and on purpose.  It's all about me!

My wife has a helpful way to get past that.  When someone does something out of the ordinary or something we could be offended by, she just says, "May be they have gas." Which is to say maybe there is something going in the other person's life that is not readily noticeable that is affecting them.

To test whether you are walking in arrogance ask yourself this question: "When was the last time someone hurt or disappointed/failed me and I sought to be reconciled to them instead of cutting them off or retaliating somehow?"  If you have been hurt and you have chosen to cut others off or to retaliate or shame them, then you may be walking in arrogance.

The Way Less Traveled - The Way of God

In the 18th chapter of the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus gives us a model for how to deal with conflict.  Some refer to it as the "Church discipline" passage.  Referring to this passage this way creates an unfortunate expectation that somehow it's primarily the responsibility of church leadership to resolve differences.  But if we look at the passage closely we will see that Jesus' main intent was to maintain unity in the body.  Step one says "If someone sins against you, go to them tell them how they hurt you and if they listen you have won back your brother of sister." (Matt 18:15 - Preacher Al's paraphrase).  As I understand this scripture, Jesus' desire is for us to be restored to our brother or sister when they have done something to hurt or offend us.  We are not called to immediately run to others and tell them about it (that's gossip) nor are we called to just sulk about it.  Jesus wants us to do everything in our power to remain in relationship with others in the body.

So when we are walking in God's way, we want to pursue reconciliation even in the face of being deeply hurt.  And step two (Matt. 18:16) where we bring others into the problem is intended to reveal the truth, not necessarily to vindicate us.  When we are walking in God's way, we will seek godly wise counsel even if it leads to finding out we were not 100% right.  The goal remains when walking in the way, to be reconciled wherever possible.  The remaining verses of this passage deal with the individual who refuses to admit to wrongdoing even when wise counsel has determined that their actions were wrong.  At this point it becomes the determination of the Church to decide what to do with the offending individual.  If they are a cheat, a liar, a social predator, then the church has an obligation to protect the flock and expel such a person.

But for most of us trying to walk in the Way of God, I would be more inclined consider scriptures that say we are to consider others over our self or that we are to always forgive.  When Peter asks about how often we should forgive others he says, being super spiritual, "Up to seven times?"   Jesus response seems almost like overkill, "Not seven times, but seventy times seven!"  Which I take to mean "Always Forgive".  Personally it reminds me of how much and how often God is willing to forgive me, when I come back to Him.

For the child of God, who has been redeemed at a great price, forgiveness and reconciliation are the operative words when we find ourselves being hurt or offended by others.  Christ died for us while we were yet sinners (rebelling against Him).  God didn't wait for us to get our stuff together before He reached out to us.  This serves as an example for us, that we are to always, wherever possible, reach out and try to be reconciled to our brothers and sisters in Christ.   The Way of Christ is the way of love.

The Continuum

This is an idea that occurred to me sometime back and I have been refining it in an attempt to create a picture of walking with God. The continuum represents the side to side representation of our walk in life as defined in attitude. In this image I am suggesting that the middle of the road is our objective and that there are markers that let us know where the edges of the road are and I will even go on to describe what the sides of the road are.

This road, which I will refer to here as a godly attitude, is marked by two aspects or qualities. The first is humility. Humility in my simplest understanding is just that we are not sufficient in and of ourselves for anything. The scripture that I think of is "We can do nothing apart from Him."

Some see humility as a weakness. To them, it is some sort of groveling, "I am useless and helpless" kind of attitude. I see it more as a sober-minded attitude that admits that no one person can have all the answers; that no one person is the answer to all problems. As a humble person, I can admit that I don't have all the answers and be okay with myself. A humble person has no difficulty in asking for help. A humble person doesn't think that they are better than others. A humble person realizes that we are all different and we all have different gifts and abilities, but that doesn't make us better or worse than someone else especially in God's eyes. God is the giver of gifts. God is who created me. I must look to him find my value, while at the same time realizing that as his creation, I am only adequate to do what He has created me to do. Humility is freeing. I don't have to be perfect, I just have to know where to look for help.

The other key aspect of a godly attitude that I think we need to walk with faith in "The Way of God" is confidence. I find confidence in the scripture that says that I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. Confidence says that I trust God to help me to accomplish that which He has called me to do. Confidence says, I am confident in whom God made me to be. I am not a mistake and I can use my talents, abilities and gifts to do immeasurably more than I can think or imagine because His power is at work in me to will and to do.

So then I see us in this tension between humility, which says I can do nothing apart from Him, and confidence, which says I can do all things through Him. To walk with a godly attitude in The Way of God we need both. Confidence helps us to be obedient and prevents us from falling into fear and condemnation. Humility helps us to avoid arrogance and thinking that we don't need God.

Walking in the way of God is then a combination of humility and confidence. Its not one or the other. The two are not opposites but rather compliments. Together they combine to give us a right perspective of self - right esteem.

This leaves us to define the two sides of the road. When we lose either confidence or humility we end up off the path. Without humility confidence can be twisted into arrogance. Arrogance says "I don't need anyone else, I am sufficient in and of myself to face anything". Arrogance says, "I don't need God." Its idolatry where we elevate ourselves to godhood. We become our own god. It doesn't make us necessarily atheists, but such an attitude makes dependence on God a weakness instead of a strength. There is much more I would like to say about arrogance and it causes and consequences, but I will have to leave that for a later article.

Now on the other side of The Way of God there is, for lack of a better word, "Brokenness." When we try to live lives without confidence in God and who God has made us to be we fall into this defeated mindset that seems to say "Even God can't help me." People who have strayed off the path here may want God's help and even cry out for it, but they really don't believe it will come, because they have no confidence in Him. One might even say they have more confidence in their ability to fail than in God's ability to help them.

Now my objective in this article is not to condemn anyone who gets off the path. It's more an attempt to help people recognize when they are in "The Way of God" or off the path. Our walk with God is a constant effort to seek His Face and His Will. To do so we have to die to ourselves in a act of humility and trust and we must rise in to a new life where we are more than conquerors. To live such a life takes being self-aware and working at examining ourselves and asking God for guidance. I pray that I have given you some tools to help you in your pursuit to follow God. Tools that will help you find your way.

Trying to catch up

I have been out of the country for a bit. Then before I could fully catch my breath, I was off to take care of my mother for a couple of weeks, where I managed to pick up some nasty bug that attacked my lungs and made me sound like I was talking from the bottom of a well, or trying out for the base position on a barbershop quartet. So I really haven't had a chance to sit down and write some serious additions to this series of articles. I have been writing more and more down in my notebooks so that I can bog on these insights that God is granting me. So I should be posting something quite soon as I am already wrestling with more concepts of what is means to "Walk in The Way".