The attitude of Walking in The Way - The Continuum Revisited

I actually preached on this subject quite some time ago but it has stuck with me all this time. I really think that this is the first topic or lesson that brought me to thinking about how we could know if we were Walking in The Way. I am not really sure that "attitude" is the right name for this aspect of the walk that I plan to examine here. Maybe it is more about self-perception in relationship to God and others.

Key themes:

• The pathway markers of humility and confidence
• The extremes of hopelessness/defeatedness vs. Arrogance
• What the source of our personal esteem is


The two key factors or lane markers I see which help us to Walk in The Way are humility and confidence. I see humility marked by the scripture that says, "We can do nothing apart from Christ" and I see confidence marked by the scripture that says "I can do all things through Him (Christ) who strengthen's me." But it is not one or the other rather it is a blend of both. I realize in my humility before God and men that it is only through His working in me that I am able to do anything, which then leads do a sense of confidence that realizes that with Him there is no limit to what we can accomplish. Maybe we might call this right esteem.

There has been a lot of talk in past years about children who have low self-esteem. This topic has worked itself into the church as well. I really think that it is a bit heretical. In the OT when men were building the tower in Babylon, God said that we can accomplish anything, so He then confused the speech of humanity to keep us from thinking too highly of ourselves. There is an inherent problem in thinking that we are good in and of ourselves; this is the basis of Humanism. Pretty soon we begin to think that we can accomplish anything and that we don't need to listen to someone else. I have read a few articles where people are recognizing that some children/people's esteem in themselves is so high that they think themselves better than others or more deserving than others. This leads to problems like sociopaths who view other people as mere objects to be used for their benefit.

Now I admit that there are also people out there whose esteem of self is so low that they they can only see themselves as failures. They see their future as nothing more than a long series of potential blunders. I do not think this as humility but something else entirely.

When we are walking in the Way of God our self-perception is almost a contradiction or paradox. In part we see that we are powerless apart from God, but then we see that in Him or by Him, we can do anything He sets before us to do. I believe that our true esteem is found in that we are created beings, who are redeemed to live a life worthy of God according to his work in us. Our esteem is not found in our perception of ourselves (good or bad) and our esteem is not to be found in the eyes of others (whether that be positive or negative). Our true esteem should only be found in the eyes of our Redeemer/Creator as tempered by his Grace and Mercy.

Our Redeemer knows everything there is to know about us. He knows our thoughts, our intentions and our motivations, and yet He still chooses to love us. Some people think that they must earn their ways in to his heart, others think that it doesn't matter what we do; both are wrong. We are reminded by scripture that we cannot earn our salvation through works, but rather it is a free gift from God. Yet on the other hand we know that there are behaviors that are hated by God (God hates sin if not sinners). Even if our salvation is a free gift, once we have it we are called to walk it out or work it out with fear and trembling.

So when I consider people who are walking in hopelessness or defeat (I also refer to this as brokenness), I get images of them saying how bad they are and how irredeemable they are. It's as if they are saying that their actions or their perception of self are beyond God's ability to forgive or redeem. I am convinced that this is a form of idolatry. I believe it is rooted in a lie from the evil one. These people have come to believe a lie that says their sin is too great or their hurt is too terrible for God to forgive or heal. This is typical of most lies from the devil. He twists or perverts God's word to serve his desires. Nothing pleases him more than being able to convince us that we are beyond the reach of God's love and mercy. But when we believe that our sin is so great that God cannot forgive us, we make our sin greater than God and that is idolatry.

The flip side of this also a form of idolatry, but here the person has become convinced that they in and of themselves are sufficient to every problem they face. They are convinced that they do not need God or anyone else. I think this is similar to the lie that the serpent used in the Garden of Eden. He convinced Adam and Eve that they could be like God if they just followed his advice. Arrogant people are just as deceived as those thinking they can do nothing good at all.

Now in our culture we tend to see defeated people as being victims and we tend to see some arrogant people as successful and confident people. I think it is really important that if we are to walk in the Way of God, then we must forsake these cultural ideals and instead embraced the ideals/values of The Kingdom of God. We are sinners redeemed from our former ways by the grace of God in the Person of Jesus Christ and his sacrifice upon the cross. We have been sealed with the Holy Spirit and now belong to God. As God's children, our thoughts, intentions and actions should be shaped by this redeemed relationship.

Final thoughts

I would like to remind you that my writings on walking in the way, are not a "how to be more godly" plan. But rather indicators that we should use to examine ourselves. Neither of  these articles are meant to condemn anyone. If you find that you are off the path, it is just a reminder of where you need to be. When we find that our ways do not align with the Path/Way of God, then we must confess our wrong attitudes, repent of, change our ways and return to God, seeking his help and his wisdom so that we might live as children of God. It is an ongoing process, that refines us much as gold and silver are refined by fire.

I pray then that you will learn to experience the freedom and joy of walking in God's ways.  Jesus himself has gone before us to show us how to live for God.  Jesus sent his Holy Spirit to remind us and help us that we might live as the children of God.  I pray that you will learn to fully cooperate with the work that God has begun in you, that you may see it completed and experience the fullness of  a life in and with Christ Jesus our Lord and Savior.

An Introduction to my intended book on "Walking in the Way of God"

I have been thinking about “The Way” for a very long time.  “The Way” was another name for the Church of Jesus Christ in the first Century.  Some cults have sprung up in modern times trying to usurp the authority that comes with that name.  But for me, it has become about an attitude that comes with being a follower of Jesus Christ.  

On one side we are told that it is our actions that define us.  Some people, however, are able to do all the right things but without a right heart or attitude.  Sometimes this is done to deceive people sometimes it’s just that some people only know that they have been told to do something a certain way, without any reason for it and they do it without understanding.  When asked why they are doing what they are doing, they say "I was told to do it that way."  They might even say because the Bible says so.

But I think that our attitude needs to line up with our actions.  As a Christian, our hearts have to be submitted to God otherwise, we can end up like those people who Jesus will reject, saying “I never knew you!” because they were doing what seemed right but they were not walking in relationship with Jesus and they did not have a regenerate heart therefore, they cannot understand or obey the Will of God.

Sometimes we use the term, "heart attitude".  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  It is all about our heart and the attitude that resides there.  When our attitude is wrong then we can do all the right things, but we are still in the wrong.  More likely the outcome when we have a wrong attitude is we are unable to do the right things.  But praise God, we have the Holy Spirit and the Word of God to help us to have the right attitude and to know what is the right thing to do is.  

I believe that God has granted me some insight into what our attitude should be like when we are living according to God's will.  There is no guessing but do not think that this is something that you can do in and of yourself.  We need God's wisdom and power to walk out the life He has intended for us.  When we do realize that we are not  walking in "The Way", we can always go back to God and ask for help.  We can ask for wisdom and we can ask to be corrected by the Holy Spirit.  

Note: The Holy Spirit is not going to contradict the Word of God.

If you could imagine a road stretching off into the distance, we might ask what defines the boundaries of the road before us.  The right curb or road marker I believe is marked by the attitude of Humility as defined by the Scripture that says that we can do nothing apart from God. Actually, it was Jesus saying that we can do nothing apart from Him. The left curb or boundary is marked by the attitude of confidence, as defined by the Scripture, "I can do all things through Him/Christ, who strengthens me."

These two attitudes are not mutually exclusive, rather they serve to encompass the path before us.  Both confidence in God and humility are dependent upon our relationship with God the Father, through Jesus Christ and in the power of the Holy Spirit.  

What I hope to accomplish in the following chapters is to use these road-markers/attitudes to define what it means to be a disciple of Christ.  There will be a lot of comparing and contrasting used to illuminate for us the differences between being a natural person and being someone redeemed by God.  Come join me on this journey as we learn to walk in the "Way of God" in such a way as to fully experience the peace that Jesus promised us.

Dealing with Transgressions Part II - When our actions and choices hurt others

As I consider the "Way of God" (walking in confidence and humility) I can see where it applies to so many situations.   My hope for the following blogs is to touch on many of these topics -- to look at them from all three perspectives; from the brokenness, the arrogant and from Godly ways.  I remind you that I see both the arrogant and the brokenness perspectives as forms of idolatry.  The person walking in brokenness sees his or her problems as being too big for God to handle or maybe they think that they are so bad that God would never want to help them.  The arrogant person appears to think that they don't need God and that they themselves are the answer to every problem that comes their way.  Both of these kinds people are difficult to be around, but both need God's love.

But my intent here is not to point out these people's flaws so that we can condemn them nor is it specifically my intent to bring understanding of them.  I am more concerned with encouraging all of us to "examine our ways" to see if our attitudes and actions really line up with what I believe to be God's best for us.  What are we walking in?  Is it humility and confidence or is it fear, doubt, worry unbelief and self-deception?

I would like to point out that we all may move in one of these three paths from time to time, depending upon the circumstances, our abilities and/or our mood.  My intent is not to label people walking these paths.  My hope is that through this article that you will recognize which path you are walking in and will work to cooperate with God's ways.  Now on to this post's topic which is"How do we react or walk when we realize that we have caused someone else pain, or difficulty?"

Jesus promised us that we would have difficulties in this world, but his Holy Spirit and his teachings encourage us to be those who overcome life's trials; not that we will always succeed.  One of the harder types of difficulties we have to deal with are transgressions; where either someone does something that hurts us, or where we do something that hurts someone else.  Often times we want to take issue with the intent saying, "Oh they meant to do that!" or "That wasn't really MY intent!"  Here I will examine the notion of our being the transgressors.

Brokenness

When a person is walking in brokenness, they don't know how to or are unable to confront or to make amends.  I believe that while people are walking in brokenness, they/we have difficulty seeing how to deal with others' needs.  They/we are barely maintaining their/our own lives.  In fact their/our lives may be completely out of control.  When dealing with others they/we don't mean to cause offense but they/we just can't seem to see past their/our own wants and desires (which is often wrongly categorized as "needs").  These wants and desires are mostly "felt needs."  They/we think they/we need this or that to live or to be happy.  Consequently we/they do things that may offend or harm others while trying to attain those felt needs.

When we are walking in brokenness  we feel bad when we are caught.  We are not truly sorry for our actions.  We might feel sorry that we got caught or we are sorry that our actions have resulted in a break in relationship.  Broken people won't often seek to apologize, rather they hope that no one will notice. They hope that the topic won't be brought up, it will be forgotten or that others won't know that they were responsible.  When confronted, a broken person may feign ignorance of the situation or act appalled.  When confronted they/we may act sheepish, embarrassed or may break into tears.  Broken people may also apologize profusely and pledge to make it right.  The reality is that when we are walking in this path, we are really not thinking about true restoration, but rather merely hoping that the problem will go away by itself.

Arrogance

When we are walking in arrogance the creed seems to be "It wasn't my fault" or "You deserved it!"  Like the person walking in brokenness, arrogance see oneself as the most important person.  The way it presents is quite different though.  While the person walking in brokenness seems to feel some sort of guilt for what they did, the person walking in arrogance refuses to take responsibility.  Sometimes they will try to shift the blame back on to the offended person.  

I really think there are two paths leading into arrogance.  The first is fear; fear of being found out.  When we walk in this kind of arrogance we know we are wrong, but fear to face the consequence of being found out.  So we deny that we have done anything wrong, and refuse to make amends  because that would be an admission of wrongdoing.

The second path into arrogance is self-deceit.  We find ourselves here when we become so convinced of our rightness that there can be no admission of wrong.  "I know I am right so therefore I can do no wrong."  I find myself walking in this when I become convinced that I am the expert on a particular topic.  

Regardless of how a person comes to find themselves walking in the way of arrogance, the results are the same.  They can admit no wrong doing.  They refuse to accept that something is their fault.  They  see no need to try to reconcile.  Our thinking when we are walking here is often "They (the offended party) just need to get over it and move on."

The Way Less Traveled - The Way of God

One of the significant motivations of someone walking in the ways of Jesus is to maintain relationship (loving others).  This is consistent with the greatest commandment.  When we transgress against someone else, even if it was unintentional, chances are we have done something to break fellowship.  If we do nothing to right any wrong, caused by selfishness or simple oversight, then we are failing to love our neighbor.  Christ calls for us to love even our enemies, so then love demands some sort of action.

In the "Sermon on the Mount" in Matt. 5:23-25 Jesus tells us that if we are approaching God with our gift/worship and in that moment we remember/realize that someone else has something against us then Jesus tells us to leave our gift at the altar and to go and be reconciled with our brother or sister.  This is huge.  Jesus is telling us that we cannot have a relationship with God when we have broken relationship with others. The Apostle John tells us in his first epistle that if we hate another member of the faith, then we don't love God, or that the Love of God doesn't dwell in us.

Before I continue, I remind you that we cannot walk in the ways of God, without God's help.  Jesus sent us the the Holy Spirit to dwell in us, to both remind us of Christ's teaching and to give us to power to walk in his ways.  This is not some human philosophy that we practice out of sheer force of will.  It is a cooperative work between God and us.  He lays out the ways we are to live, then He grants us the power to keep his commandments.  God's desire for us to be reconciled with one another stems out of God's purposes at work in us.  He created us to live in community, He gave us rules for living with one another and through Christ's death and resurrection He is made us capable of living together.  We are new creations made in or remade in His Image. We are empowered to enter the process of redemption and renewal so that we will be the people whose lives are a manifestation of The Love of God.   

So then, as God's redeemed people we must do everything in our power and with God's strength to repair godly relationships.  Christ died to pay the price of everyone's sin.  He lived a life of example for us to follow and sent the Holy Spirit to testify to the truth of God's ways.  Now I am not saying that we need to live in the fear of hurting someone else's feelings, but I am saying that we must take others into consideration when we chose to act or speak.  Our actions or lack of them, affect others.  Our words have the power to heal or to hurt.

As I understand Scripture, the only way we can accomplish this is to dwell in and live out humility.  Humility says that I am not the most important person.  Humility says that all people have value in God's eyes and so I must treat them as such.  Humility is the way of love.  It doesn't demand it's one way but instead seeks the betterment of others.  I don't mean that we become solicitous and bow and grovel around other people or lie to them trying to win their approval.  Rather I am saying that we all need to recognize that every human being, regardless or race, gender or national origin is made in the image of God.  When we dishonor other people, snub them or take advantage of them, we dishonor not only them, but we dishonor God in our lives.

Now looking at others as beings created in the image of God, doesn't mean we have to do whatever they ask of us.  If anyone asks us to do something immoral or illegal then we are not under obligation to comply.  For example - if an alcoholic asked you for booze or for money to buy booze your are under no obligation to do that but as a God honoring person you can and should look for ways to help such a person.  You could buy them a meal, you could talk to them about Christ, or you could help them get in touch with an organization that could help them like AA or Teen Challenge.  Helping others is not giving them what they want; it's giving them what they need.

Getting back to the topic at hand.  When we have done something to injure, insult, malign or otherwise hurt someone, whether intentionally or unintentionally, Jesus puts the requirement on us to make amends as soon as we realize that we were the source of someone else's pain.  The objective in Christ's sight is always, what can you do to restore relationship.  Too often we get stuck on who was right and who was wrong.  Christ's sacrifice on the cross makes that irrelevant. He has paid for our sins and he has paid for the sins others have committed against us.  We are then obligated to try to restore godly relationships whatever it may cost us.

Abusive Relationships

I will offer one caveat.  We are not obligated to restore abusive relationships.  We are required to forgive our abusers, but we don't have to submit ourselves to emotional and physical abuse in our efforts to restore relationships.  So if you were the abuser then do not demand that others be restored to you.  You must first be "cured" or "healed" of your abusive nature before seeking to be restored to those you abused.

Seeking Help

Finally I would also suggest that you do not try to restore difficult relationships on your own.  Find a pastor, counselor or elder who demonstrates wisdom and peace to help you.  Christ gave us each other and the gifts of the Spirit so that we could help one another and build up the people in the body of Christ.  And keep in mind that the goal (wherever possible) is the restoration of godly relationship.